Weezie's Guide To Stress Relief

Or....How to keep from killing someone...

So you are feeling a little stressed out? Wanna kill something or someone? Don't want to go to jail for it? Never Fear! Weezie is here! The following are just a few ideas to help you keep your sanity. I hope you find them useful.

Okay, first go buy yourself a little plastic baseball bat. These are usually found in any toy store for a reasonable amount of cash (usually less than $5.) Now, what are you going to do with this? Nonononono...you aren't going to go hit people. I know, I have spoiled all your fun. Here are a few things that help take the edge off...

Get a picture of the offender. If you don't have a picture, make one. This can be stress relieving in itself. Place this on a soft surface (no, not their head.) A bed or a couch is usually good. Now, pound the snot out of it. Feeling better yet?
Take a cardboard box and draw or paste a picture of the offender on it. Get the loudest, most obnoxious music you have and play it as loud as the neighbors can tolerate. What do you do next? You got it! Pound the snot out of the box and, as a added benefit, scream at it, too! Yes, the music should cover up the screaming. This way, you can release all that stress and your neighbors will just think you are inconsiderate instead of crazy!
If you are out in the country, and no one is around, and you just happen to have your bat... Pound the crap out of a telephone pole. It feels great! Now, I do ask that you don't go and hit a tree. Trees are living and it wouldn't be good for your karma.

Ok, maybe the baseball bat isn't a good solution for you. Another great idea is a little guy called a "Dammit Doll". These little dolls are wonderful.

"Dammit Dolls" are easy to make.
They are good for anyone who deals with stress.
They are cute.
They make a great gift for friends and family.
Now, I do ask that you don't stick pins in it. It is not that KIND of doll.
Not feeling better yet? Life still sucks? Perhaps the baseball bat and "dammit doll" are just too violent for you? Here are a few suggestions:

Join a Gym. Exercise is a great stress reliever. Trust me.
Take a martial art.
Learn to meditate.
Take a nice long walk out in the country.
Go to the beach.
These are just a few of the things that I do and have found them to help. Sometimes, just taking a few deep breaths is all it takes.

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